I Did 12 Years With Nuns, You

It Says On The Back Of The Nyquil Box, 'may Cause Drowsiness.' It Should Say, 'don't Make Any Plans, Ok? Kiss Your Family And Friends Good-bye.'

I Think Daycare Is Great For People Who Have To Work Two Jobs. My Problem Is With People Who Are Dropping Kids Off At Daycare Because They Want To Go Out And Spend The Day Golfing Or Getting Their Nails Done. You Know What I Mean? That's Not Why They Invented Daycare.

He [ Campbell Scott ] Is Also A Really Funny Guy Which Not A Lot Of People Know.

I Like Jesus, I Mean, I Think He Was A Good Guy.

There Are Some Guys I Know For A Fact, Like Louis C.k., Who Always Talk About How Not-great Of An Actor He Is, And He's Terrific On His Show. But I Know Louis Would Play A Fantastic Dramatic Role In Something, Too. He Just Needs Somebody To Grab Him And Say, "come In Here And Do This."