I Don't Care If My Jokes Are

If Frogs Could Fly... Well We'd Still Be In This Mess, But Wouldn't It Be Neat?

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.

If You're Wearing A Bluetooth Thing And You've Got That Thing On Your Belt, You Are Working For Somebody Else. You Are Not The Guy In Charge. That's A Really Good Social Status Indicator.

I Was Raised By Just My Mom. See, My Father Died When I Was Eight Years Old. At Least, That's What He Told Us In The Letter.

I Don't Think There's Hardly A Comic Out There That Does Clean Material All The Way Around. There's A Couple Of Guys That Are Clean, But I'm Not One Of Them.