I Don't Deserve This Award, But I

Age Is Strictly A Case Of Mind Over Matter. If You Don't Mind, It Doesn't Matter.

As You May Or May Not Know, In Keeping With The High-class Tone Of Beverly Hills, Our Police Force Is Probably The Most Snobbish Group Of Gendarmes In The World. It Is Said That The Beverly Hills Police Department Is So Fancy That It Has An Unlisted Number.

Comedy Itself Is Based Upon Very Old Principles Of Which I Can Readily Name Seven. They Are, In Short: The Joke, Exaggeration, Ridicule, Ignorance, Surprise, The Pun, And Finally, The Comic Situation.

I Don't Want To Tell You How Much Insurance I Carry With The Prudential, But All I Can Say Is: When I Go, They Go Too.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.