I Don't Know Anything About Computers.

You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes Six Minutes To Microwave.

I Am Not A Good Cue Card Reader.

I Cook A Little Bit. I Make A Hungarian Dish Called Chicken Paprikash That's Out Of This World. I'll Give A Heads-up To All Of Your Readers That It Doesn't Have To Be Between Thai And Mexican Every Night. Toss Some Hungarian In Every Once In A While. You Will Not Be Sorry. Good, Solid Peasant Food.

The Shuttle Is The Worst $20 You'll Ever Save. It Adds 90 Minutes To Whatever A Town Car Or Cab Would Have Been. You Have The Unenviable Choice Between Being Dropped Off Last Or Being Dropped Off First And Having A Bunch Of Losers Who Can't Afford Cab Fare And Have No Friends Or Loved Ones With Cars Knowing Exactly Where You Live.

Having Sex Without A Condom Is Like Riding A Roller Coaster With Diarrhea. You Can't Just Throw Your Hands Up And Enjoy It.