I Don't Know Why It's So Hard

Barack Obama's Mother-in-law Might Be Moving Into The White House With Him. Joe Biden Was Right. Hostile Forces Will Test Him In The First Few Months.

Now There Are More Overweight People In America Than Average-weight People. So Overweight People Are Now Average. Which Means You've Met Your New Year's Resolution.

Nike Actually Has A Pair Of Shoes Called Air-turbulence. Try Getting Past Airline Security Wearing Those. Might As Well Call Them Air-osama.

President Bush Appeared With Arnold Schwarzenegger At A Huge Campaign Event. Only In California Can A Governor Who Speaks German And A President Who Can Barely Speak English Try To Make Themselves Clear To An Audience That's Primarily Spanish.

U.n. Officials Said Today They Desperately Need $7 Billion To Help People Cope With Disasters, But They're Having A Hard Time Getting People To Send Rescue Money. Here's What The Un Should Do: Invest In Bad Mortgages, Run A Bank Into The Ground, Give Yourself A Bonus, Get Some Spa Treatments And, In No Time, The Government Will Send You $750 Billion.