I Don't Like Gadgets For Their Own

People Want Other People To Know That They Share Our Sensibility Even If They're Not Exactly Sure What That Sensibility Is.

I Always Fancied Myself More Of An Actor Than A Comedian Before I Realized That Only Assholes Make That Kind Of Distinction.

I Don't Know How This Company Got The Name National Shakespeare Company, Because It Was Literally Like Retards Employing Retards.

I Peed In My Wife's Boot Once. On Honeymoon, In Madrid, We Were Drinking Absinthe And Somehow Made It Back To Our Hotel. I Don't Remember A Second Of This, But My Wife Woke Up To This Noise. Two Of Her Boots Were In The Corner, One Had Fallen Down And The Other Was Standing Up And I Was Peeing Into It! It Was A Hole, And It Looked Like A Toilet. She Said: "rob, Wake Up, You're Peeing Into My Shoe!"

I Don't Like Gadgets For Their Own Sake. I Like Gadgets That Are Tools. And I Like Simple Gadgets That Do One Thing Really Well Like A Hammer.