I Don't Need Adult Supervision.

I Read An Article That Said One In Five Americans Thinks Elvis Is Alive. I Want To Find Those Morons And Get Them Registered To Vote For Me.

Why Should Old People Get [social Security]? They Just Sit Around All Day Doing Nothing.

People Come Up To Me In Bars And On Street Corners And They Say To Me, 'hey, Paulsen, Have You Got Any Change?'

Censorship Does Not Interfere With The Constitutional Rights Of Every American To Sit Alone In A Dark Room In The Nude And Cuss.

All The Problems We Face In The United States Today Can Be Traced To An Unenlightened Immigration Policy On The Part Of The American Indian.