I Don't Really Care About Plot; I

I Don't Really Believe In A Creative-writing Major As An Undergraduate. It's A Bad Idea, Terrible. I've Met Creative-writing Majors From Other Places And They Don't Know A Goddamn Thing. They're The Worst Students. They Just Think They're Good Because They Could Pass.

I Thought I Was Writing For A Fairly Hip, Intelligent Crowd; I Just Thought There Were More Of Them Out There. But They're Not. They're Not Out There Waiting. They're Not Gonna Use Their Intelligence On Your Book.

The Wild Stuff Is All So Overrated. Drinking, You Don't Feel Good All The Time. There's A Lot Of Down, A Lot Of Misery.

Most Novels I Come Across Have All The Excitement Of A Long Trip On A Bus With A Sensitive Glee Club. Yammer And Chat.

When You're Not Involved, Other People's Unhappiness Seems To Be About The Funniest Damn Thing On Earth Because You Think You Can Solve It, That You Are God, That You Are Above This, And That Their Unhappiness Is Just Such Useless Toil And Agony. If It's You, It Ceases To Be A Comedy.