I Don't Really Care For Like Fat

One Of The Greatest Things My Therapist Said To Me ... And It Really Blew My Mind In The Greatest Way, He Just Said, "look In The Mirror Less."

Some People Say My Humor Focuses Too Much On Stereotypes. It Doesn't. It Focuses On Facts.

I Learned That People In Wheelchairs Are Allowed To Have Marathons … Which, To Me, Seems Like Cheating, But What Are You Gonna Say?

And Then Before Going Back For My Sophomore Year, I Decided To Change My Major To Arts And Sciences, And My Dad Cut A Deal With Me: He Said If I'd Quit School He'd Pay My Rent For The Next Three Years, As If I Were In School.

I've Always Kept My Overhead Low So I Could Do Whatever I Want. I Think Of Myself As Lazy With Spurts Of Getting A Lot Done. I Find Myself Rooting Against Things Sometimes Because I Get Excited At The Thought Of A Clean Slate.