I Don't Really Read The Reviews, But

Awards Are Meaningless To Me, And I Have Nothing But Disdain For Anyone Who Actively Campaigns To Get One.

I'm Just An Obnoxious Guy Who Can Make It Appear Charming, That's What They Pay Me To Do.

When You Act Obnoxious Towards People, Like On A Movie Set, They Say "we're Ready For You" And I Say "oh, Go To Hell, My Feet Hurt And My Head Aches." You Want To Have A Margarita For Lunch, And People Like These Little Ads And Production Assistants Are Like, "well, He's Drinking Again."

I Went To Second City, Where You Learned To Make The Other Actor Look Good So You Looked Good And National Lampoon, Where You Had To Create Everything Out Of Nothing, And Snl, Where You Couldn't Make Any Mistakes, And You Learned What Collaboration Was.

That's The Reason I'm Not The One That's Dead Because The Attraction Of The Fast Life Is Very Powerful.