I Don't Shoot Guns. I Don't Know

In Her New Book, Sarah Palin Says She Once Gave Up Chocolate For An Entire Year Just To Prove She Could Do It. Still Think She's Not Qualified To Be President?

I Haven't Been On A Date In Awhile. I Went On Maybe Two Dates In My Whole Life.

Thank You... Motion Sensor Hand Towel Machine. You Never Work, So I Just End Up Looking Like I'm Waving Hello To A Wall Robot.

A New Study Found That Americans Are Exercising More Than Ever But Still Not Losing Much Weight. Not Good In Fact, It's All I Could Think About On My Jog To Dunkin' Donuts.

I Read That As Marijuana Legalization Becomes More Popular, It Could Affect The Jobs Of Drug-sniffing Dogs. Or As Those Dogs Put It, 'thanks, Bo Obama.'