I Don't Think I've Ever Stolen Anything.

You Just Want To Try A Bunch Of Stuff, Because You Don't Know What's Going To Be Great.

When I Say Something Untrue On The Air, I Mean For It To Be Transparently Untrue. I Assume People Know When I'm Just Saying Something For Effect. Or To Be Funny.

I'm Going To Go With Chihuahua, Just Because I Can't Think Of Anything More Frightening Than A Giant Chihuahua.

I Remember When I First Got Married, There Was A Certain Amount Of Internet Traffic On The Subject Of, "who Is This Beard Who Is Allegedly Married To Ira Glass? Obviously, He's Gay."

Great Stories Happen To Those Who Can Tell Them.