I Don't Think Men Talk As Much

Without Identical Twins, You'll Never Get To Experience Entering A Hotel Room With One Of Them And Watching Him Run Into The Full-length Mirror Because He Though He Saw His Brother.

I Have This Mistress: Show Business.

You Know, Before I Would Think, My Cab Driver Hates Me. Now I Think My Limo Driver Hates Me.

If My Father Had Hugged Me Even Once, I'd Be An Accountant Right Now.

I Don't Want To Be A Spokesman For Family Values, But That's The Way My Standup Is Perceived.