I Don't Understand Why The Police Are

If There Is Such A Thing As Karma, Let's Hope That Sarah Palin Comes Back As A Wolf Being Shot At From A Plane.

It's Very Hard Not To Be Condescending When You're Explaining Something To An Idiot.

The President Said That Gold Told Him To Invade Iraq. You See That's What Happens When You Mix New Testament And Old Milwaukee.

Saddam Hussein Is Hitler Like Oasis Was The Beatles.

People Sometimes Say How Standup Is So Hard, And I Always Tell Them That It's Hard At The Beginning.