I Don't Want To Be The One

How Many People Didn't Get A Part Who Would Have Been Better Than The Person Who Got The Part? Thousands.

The Whole World Is Tense. Everybody Gets The International News. Theres Been No American Comedy At All That Even Remotely Addresses The Subject In Any Way. My Goal Isnt To Solve The Worlds Problems. My Character Wasnt Even Able To Do His Assignment. But The Premise Of Wanting To Find Out About Somebody -- Other Than The Stuff That The Cia Will Tell You -- Theres No Hope Unless We Do That.

All Improv Turns Into Anger. All Comedy Improv Basically Turns Into Anger, Because That's All People Know How To Do When They're Improvising. If You Notice Shows That Are Improvising Are Generally People Yelling At Each Other.

What Do You Think The Devil Is Going To Look Like If He's Around? Nobody Is Going To Be Taken In If He Has A Long, Red, Pointy Tail. No. I'm Semi-serious Here. He Will Look Attractive And He Will Be Nice And Helpful And He Will Get A Job Where He Influences A Great God-fearing Nation And He Will Never Do An Evil Thing... He Will Just Bit By Little Bit Lower Standards Where They Are Important. Just Coax Along Flash Over Substance... Just A Tiny Bit. And He Will Talk About All Of Us Really Being Salesmen. And He'll Get All The Great Women.

I've Always Felt Like I Work In A Small Little Area That Doesn't Represent Anything Like The Rest Of Society.