I Enjoy Doing Nothing.

In Most Betting Shops You Will See Three Windows Marked 'bet Here', But Only One Window With The Legend 'pay Out'.

I Was Under The Care Of A Couple Of Medical Students Who Couldn't Diagnose A Decapitation.

When I Was A Boy, I Naively Thought That This Thing Called Happiness Would Be Something I Would Wake Up To Find Every Day Once I Could Smoke, Drink And Fornicate.

The More Necessary It Becomes To Stop Drinking, The More Impossible It Becomes To Stop.

Oh, To Me Not Drinking Is Like Being Dead, Almost. I Sit Here Taking Endless Journeys Down Memory Lane. It Gets Boring.