I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To

My Sister Was So Promiscuous She Broke Her Ankle In The Glove Compartment Of A Car.

When I Was A Kid And We Used To Play Post Office, I Was The Dead Letter Office.

Health - What My Friends Are Always Drinking To Before They Fall Down.

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. When I Was Born, The Doctor Slapped Everybody.