I Find People Confusing.

People Say That You Always Have To Tell The Truth. But They Do Not Mean This Because You Are Not Allowed To Tell Old People That They Are Old And You Are Not Allowed To Tell People If They Smell Funny Or If A Grown-up Has Made A Fart. And You Are Not Allowed To Say, 'i Don't Like You,' Unless That Person Has Been Horrible To You.

..and Only Sticks And Stones Can Break My Bones.

... Why I Like Timetables, Because They Make Sure I Don't Get Lost In Time.

I Am Atheist In A Very Religious Mould. I'm Always Asking Myself The Big Questions. Where Did We Come From? Is There A Meaning To All Of This? I Read The King James Bible, As All English Writers Should. And When I Find Myself In Church, I Edit The Hymns As I Sing Them.

I Suffer Depression Only In The Sense That I Am A Writer. We Don't Have Proper Jobs To Go To. We Are On Our Own All Day. Show Me A Writer Who Doesn't Get Depressed: Who Has A Completely Stable Mood. They'd Be A Garage Mechanic Or Something.