I Gave Up Drinking Once -- It

I Don't Approve Of The John Waynes And The Gary Coopers Saying "shucks, I Ain't No Actor - I'm Just A Bridge Builder Or A Gas Station Attendant." If They Aren't Actors, What The Hell Are They Getting Paid For? I Have Respect For My Profession. I Worked Hard At It.

I Hate Funerals. They Aren't For The Guy Who's Dead. They're For The Guys Who Are Left Alive And Enjoy Mourning.

[on The House Un-american Activities Committee] They'll Nail Anyone Who Ever Scratched His Ass During The National Anthem.

People Who Don't Drink Are Afraid Of Revealing Themselves.

Errol Flynn And I Are The Only Ones Left Who Do Any Good Old Hell Raising.