I Get Paid For What Most Kids

When I Was A Kid, I Said To My Father One Afternoon, 'daddy, Will You Take Me To The Zoo?' He Answered, 'if The Zoo Wants You, Let Them Come And Get You.

People Think I'm Against Critics Because They Are Negative To My Work. That's Not What Bothers Me. What Bothers Me Is They Didn't See The Work. I Have Seen Critics Print Stuff About Stuff I Cut Out Of The Film Before We Ran It. So Don't Tell Me About Critics.

Don't You Understand How Dramatic It Is To Be A Comic? To Be A Fool, To Get People To Laugh At This Show-off? Milton Berle Could Take Laurence Olivier And Stick Him Under The Table If He Wanted To. And So Could I.

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.

When I Would Be Myself, I Was Being Big-headed. I Was Being Egotistical. I Was A Megalomaniac, When It Really Was Just Having Not To Be A Monkey For A Few Hours A Day. And Fulfilling The Need To Be A Man.