I Got A Job At An Amusement

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.

I Used To Think That The Brain Was The Most Wonderful Organ In My Body. Then I Realized Who Was Telling Me This.

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With My Best Friend The Other Day. I Was Crushed. They Could Have Waited Till I'd Got Out.