I Grew Up 45 Minutes Outside Of

New York Has Made Me So Paranoid, Too. Whenever I Visit Another City, I Always Act Like I'm From There, So The Cab Driver Doesn't Rip Me Off. I'm Always Like, "yeah, It's Good To Be Back Home. Back Here Where I Grew Up. Yeah. Here In Tokyo. ... Uh, Driver, I Need To Go To My Old Stomping Grounds. That Would Be The Holiday Inn. And The Address Appears To Be The Pound Sign."

When I'm In Touch With The Idea That There Is A Higher Power And That There Is, You Know, Other Factors At Work, It - It Kind Of Quells My Narcissism.

How Did We Get To The Point Where We're Paying For Bottled Water? That Must Have Been Some Weird Marketing Meeting Over In France. Some French Guy's Sitting There, Like, "how Dumb Do I Think The Americans Are? I Bet You We Could Sell Those Idiots Water."

I'm Closer To Bob Newhart Than Rodney Dangerfield.

I Should Clarify That Anyone That Goes Onstage And Makes Strangers Laugh Is Insane. So I Am Insane.