I Had To Travel Half Way Across

I Almost Bought A Delorean The Other Day Just Because. If I See Something That I Think Is Cool And I Like It, I'll Go For It.

I'm Never Home. I Miss Birthdays. I Miss Holidays. I Miss Anniversaries. I Miss Special Moments. I'm Not Always There For Important Times, Because I'm Out On The Road Trying To Make People Laugh. I Give Up My Privacy. I Give Up The Ability To Walk Somewhere And Relax.

Hanging Out With Comics, All They Did Was Make Fun Of Me.

If I Wouldn't Have Done Comedy, I Would Have Been A Teacher. I Was Really Good When I Took An Exploratory Teaching Class In High School, At Getting Kids' Attention, And Delivering Lesson Plans. Though My Principal Even Told Me That This Was What I Was Meant To Do. And That Being A Big-mouth Comedian Was A Waste Of Time.

[making People Laugh] Was A Secret Dream I Kept And I Didn't Tell Anybody About It Until I Was About 18.