I Hate Time. It Never Does What

...so Please, Be Tolerant Of Those Who Describe A Sporting Moment As Their Best Ever. We Do Not Lack Imagination, Nor Have We Had Sad And Barren Lives; It Is Just That Real Life Is Paler, Duller, And Contains Less Potential For Unexpected Delirium.

I Had Forgotten That Jess Felt About Long Words The Way That Racists Feel About Black People: She Hated Them, And Wanted To Send Them Back From Where They Came From.

I Don't Even Feel As If I'm The Center Of My Own World, So How Am I Supposed To Feel As Though I'm The Center Of Anyone Else's?

As I Get Older, The Tyranny That Football Exerts Over My Life, And Therefore Over The Lives Of The People Around Me, Is Less Reasonable And Less Attractive.

[h]ow Was I Supposed To Get Excited About The Oppression Of Females If They Couldn't Be Trusted To Stay Upright During The Final Minutes Of A Desperately Close Promotion Campaign?