I Have A Beard. Just Not On

I Don't Know Why Some People Get Worked Up About Gay People Marrying. It's Not Gay People Who Are Ruining The Sanctity Of Marriage, It's Celebrities.

If Scotland And America Go To War, I'm Afraid I've Already Sworn In.

I Would Prefer As A Viewer To Watch The Mistakes. I Am My Own Blooper Reel, As It Happens.

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving. All The Food's In The Oven. And I'm In The Bedroom Performin' Self Lovin'.

It Never Occurred To Them That God May Have Provided The World With A Vast Array Of Very Brainy Medical Types For The Very Reason Of Solving Problems Such As Theirs. However, There Is One Thing That The Medical Profession Cannot Do And That Is Save People From Being Idiots.