I Have A One Of A Kind

I Get An Abundance Of E-mail Every Day, Some Say 'dear Richard, Can You Call My Husband, He Weighs 400 Pounds...' Or 'my 14-year-old Is 200 Pounds...' Or 'i Just Got Divorced, No One Wants Me, I Am 500 Pounds.' So I Pick Up The Phone And I Call People.

I've Never Swayed From Who I Am. People Have Seen Me On Television, And They Know What I'm Like And They Know What I Do And They Respect Me For What I Do. They Know That I'm Huggy And Kissy.

We Overweight People, We Say Terrible Things To Ourselves. Oh, You Wouldn't Believe It. 'you Fat Pig. How Can You Do This? You're A Disgusting Jerk.' And That Gets You Nowhere. That Gets You Right Back Into A Bowl Of Pasta Fregula.

My Persona Has Always Been What A Man Was Never Supposed To Be. Outrageous, Gregarious, Crazy, Silly, Funny.

I Don't Have To Teach Anymore, I Don't Have To Work Anymore, God Has Been Really Good To Me.