I Have A Theory That If You've

Bloody Christmas, Here Again, Let Us Raise A Loving Cup, Peace On Earth, Goodwill To Men, And Make Them Do The Washing Up.

I Like Buying Clothes, Especially As I Get A Tax-deductible Allowance.

I've Said What I'm Prepared To Say In My Poems, And Then Journalists Think That You're Going To Tell Them A Whole Lot More.

Bloody Men Are Like Bloody Buses - You Wait For About A Year And As Soon As One Approaches Your Stop Two Or Three Others Appear.

I Was Single For A Long Time And Felt Very Much Alone In The World, And Talk Of Family Values Upset Me Very Much At That Phase In My Life, Because I Used To Think: 'what About People Like Me?