I Have Now Reached The Happy Age

I Have Now Reached The Happy Age Of 23. No, Happy Is Not Quite The Right Word. At This Particular Moment I Am Certainly Not Happy.

I Sat With Him For Three Hours And We Did Not Exchange A Single Word. At The End He Handed Me, As He Had Done Before, An Envelope With Money In It. It Would Have Been Much Nicer If He Had Enclosed A Greeting Or A Loving Word. I Would Have Been So Pleased If He Had.

When He Says He Loves Me, It Only Means He Loves Me At That Particular Instant. Like His Promises, Which He Never Keeps. Why Does He Torment Me Like This, When He Could Finish It Off At Once?

If I Had A Dog I Would Not Feel So Lonely, But I Suppose That Is Asking For Too Much.

God, I Am Afraid He Won't Give Me His Answer Today. If Only Somebody Would Help Me - It Is All So Terribly Depressing.