I Hold A Little Fundraiser Every Day.

I Spent My First Two Years At A Small All-male College In Virginia Called Hampden-sydney. That Was Like Going To College 120 Years Ago. The Languages, A Year Of Rhetoric, All Of The Great Books, Western Man Courses, Stuff Like That.

Nothing Reassures Parents More Than Surrounding Their Kids With The Kind Of Guys Who Have A Lot Of Weapons And Nothing To Do On Weekdays.

Like O'rielly, We'll Grab The Most Important Word Of Each Sentence... 'the' For Example. Also, I'll Say, 'i'm Angry,' And The Graphic Will Read, 'colbert Angry.

Writing And Producing The Show Is An Intellectual Process. Performing The Show Is Far More Athletic And Intuitive, Because You Don't Get To Do It Twice. It Helps If You've Done Whatever The Old Saw Is, 10,000 Hours Of It. Because I've Done 10,000 Hours Of Comedy, I Have This Database In My Mind Of What Works And What Doesn't Work.

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, Kids. It's Only The Dogs Who've Accepted Christ.