I Interviewed Ann Coulter When I Was

I Mean, I'd Like To See (mitt Romney's) House Burn, One Of His Millions Of Houses Burning Down. It Would Be Kind Of Cool - The Mormon Fire Patrol.

Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish. I'm Not. Last Year I Got A Call: "happy Hanukkah." I Said "ma, I'm Not Jewish."

When People Heckle Me, I Have The Microphone. And The Press Has The Microphone.

I Think That Comedy Is A Good Defense For A Child. Because You Know Childhood Is A Nightmare As It Is. And So Why Not Use Comedy And Being Funny As A Defense To Get Through Your Life As Opposed To Drugs, Alcohol And Good Looks? Because Those Things Are Dangerous When Your Young.

It's A Completely Useless Emotion - Jealousy. I Don't Go There.