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A New Study Found That A Mother's Diet Affects Her Baby's Allergies. Which Can Only Mean One Thing: My Mom Ate Cats.

President Obama Became The First Sitting President To Visit A Federal Prison Yesterday. Obama Said It Was A Good Chance To Talk About Prison Reform, And To Catch Up With So Many Former Congressmen.

It Was Announced Today That Iran Has Reached A Deal With The U.s. To Limit Its Nuclear Program And Send Most Of Its Uranium To Russia. Then Americans Said, 'that's Great! Wait, What?'

Regis Philbin's Back In Primetime, Hosting 11 New Episodes Of 'who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' But Because Of Obama's Tax Plan, It's Been Re-titled 'who Wants To Win Just Under $250,000.'

Thank You... 'real Housewives Of Atlanta,' For Demonstrating A Universal Truth: Idiots Like Me Will Always Watch Idiots Like You Fight On Tv. You Will Forever Be In My Tivo.