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If It Requires A Uniform, It's A Worthless Endeavor.

I Use The Word 'fat'. I Use That Word Because That's What People Are: They're Fat. They're Not Bulky; They're Not Large, Chunky, Hefty Or Plump. And They're Not Big-boned. Dinosaurs Were Big-boned. These People Are Not Overweight: This Term Somehow Implies There Is Some Correct Weight... There Is No Correct Weight. Heavy Is Also A Misleading Term. An Aircraft Carrier Is Heavy; It's Not Fat. Only People Are Fat, And That's What Fat People Are! They're Fat !

The Muslims Observe Their Sabbath On Friday, The Jews Observe On Saturday, And The Christians On Sunday. By The Time Monday Rolls Around God Is Completely F***in' Worn Out.

And Speaking Of Sex, The Immaculate Conception Does Not Mean Jesus Was Conceived In The Absence Of Sex. It Means Mary Was Conceived Without Original Sin. That's All It Has Ever Meant. And According To The Tabloids, Mary Is Apparently The Only One Who Can Make Such A Claim. The Jesus Thing Is Called Virgin Birth.

At A Formal Dinner Party, The Person Nearest Death Should Always Be Seated Closest To The Bathroom.