I Know How To Make It A

Oh, I'm Not A True Genius. I'm A Near Genius. I Would Say I'm A Short Genius. I'd Rather Be Tall And Normal Than A Short Genius.

Tolstoy Was The Most Gifted Writer Who Ever Lived. It's Like He Stuck A Pen In His Heart And It Didn't Even Go Through His Mind On Its Way To The Page.

American Sex Is Generally Straight. It Happens At 11 O'clock Saturday Night. In The Rural Areas, It Happens At Nine And It Happens Pretty Fast. Got To Get Up The Next Morning, Especially If There're Kids. Can't Make Noise, Either, Wake The Kids.

If God Wanted Us To Fly, He Would Have Given Us Tickets.

I Make People Laugh For A Living. I Believe I Can Say Objectively That What I Do I Do As Well As Anybody. Just Say I'm One Of The Best Broken Field Runners That Ever Lived. For 35 Years I Was A Cult Hero, An Underground Funny.