I Leave My House All The Time!

I Took My Portrait That Kaufman Did Of Me Home From The Saturday Night Live Tv Set.

Every Bad Decision I've Made Has Been Based On Money. I Grew Up In The Projects And You Don't Turn Down Money There. You Take It, Because You Never Know When It's All Going To End. I Made Cop Iii Because They Offered Me $15 Million. That $15 Million Was Worth Having Roger Ebert's Thumb Up My Ass.

Over The Past 50 Years Bob Hope Employed 88 Joke Writers Who Supplied Him With More Than One Million Gags, And He Still Couldn't Make Me Laugh.

I Spent My 30s Fixing Everything I Broke In My 20s.

My Wife Ain't Gonna Make Love To Me If I Got No Money!