I Like Kit-kat, Unless I'm With Four

I Like It When You Reach Into A Vending Machine To Grab Your Candy Bar, And That Flap Goes Up To Block You From Reaching Up? That's A Good Invention. Before That, It Was Hard Times For The Vending Machine Owners. "yeah, What Candy Bar Are You Getting?" "that One, And Every One On The Bottom Row!"

I Like To Smoke A Pipe, Because It's The Punch Line Indicator. Whenever I Take A Hit Of The Pipe, You Should Be Laughing.

I Put Fruit On Top Of My Waffles, Because I Want Something To Brush Off.

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same. So If Somebody Asks Me What Time It Is, I Have To Tell Them Something That Is Going On. "what Time Is It, Mitch?" "uh, That Guy Is Eating A Hamburger." "shi*, I Had To Be Somewhere..."

I Got A King-sized Bed. I Don't Know Any Kings, But If One Came Over, I Guess He'd Be Comfortable.