I Like Living With Myself. I Mean

The Pentagon Banned The Army From Using Chinese-made Berets. In A More Veiled Slap At The Chinese, The Pentagon Also Banned Any Alternative Form Of Checkers.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

If You're A Sports Fan You Realize That When You Meet Somebody, Like A Girlfriend, They Kind Of Have To Root For Your Team. They Don't Have A Choice.

Today Is 11/11/11, A Date So Simple Even Rick Perry Can Remember It.

During A Recent Event At A Restaurant Called Tommy's Country Ham House In South Carolina, Presidential Candidate Ben Carson Delivered A Speech Right After He Lost His Front Tooth. Which Still Left Him With More Teeth Than Everyone Combined At Tommy's Country Ham House.