I Like To Approach Every Day Like

I'm Completely Changing My Diet. My Nutritionist Recommends I Must Now Stop Eating Food I Have Already Eliminated.

Just Went To A Lovely Catholic Wedding. I Need A Drink. They Didn't Even Offer Us Water. Well They Did, But It Was Holy Water.

It's Okay To Get Stoned, As Long As Its Not By Other People.

My Haircutter Figured Out I Whine Less If I'm Under General Anesthesia. I Just Hope When I Awaken They Haven't Given Me A Brazilian Wax.

Soon, I'm Going To Meet Somebody Around My Own Age, And She's Going To Be Smart And Beautiful, And I'm Going To Date Her Daughter.