I'll Be Back. I'll Be Black. I'll

I'll Tell You Why We Make Fun Of Midgets: We're Not Afraid Of Them.

The Audience Works As Such A Mob. They Either All Laugh Or All Don't Laugh, And, You Know, Changes From Audience To Audience.

When You're A Comic, It's Like Being Born Gay. It's What You Want To Do Every Night When Your Other Friends Are Out At Night Going To Parties.

I Like To Think Of Myself As 'hot-larious' I'm Cute, But I'm Totally Approachable.

We Need To Stop Telling Girls They Can Be Anything They Want When They Grow Up. Because It Would Have Never Occurred To Them That They Couldn't.