I'll Tell You Why We Make Fun

Why Would I Become Involved With Something That Doesn't Include Everyone? If You're Getting Married Today, It's The Equivalent Of Joining A Country Club That Doesn't Allow Blacks Or Jews.

If You Sell The Vatican And You Take That Money And You Use It To Feed Every Single Human Being On The Planet, You Will Get Cah-azy Pussy. All The Pussy. I Don't Mean Literally. That Might Not Be Your Cup Of Tea. I Don't Know What Your Version Of 'all The Pussy' Is. But You'll Get All The Pussy.

Comedy Is About Talking About My Own Experience, And I'm A Woman, And That's My Experience, And Just Because It Isn't Yours Doesn't Invalidate It.

Jesus Is Magic, Because He Turned Water Into Wine. I Think He Made The Statue Of Liberty Disappear In The 80s Or Something.

I Don't Set Out To Offend Or Shock, But I Also Don't Do Anything To Avoid It.