I Look At Life As Being Cruise

This Is Not An Easy Time For Humorists Because The Government Is Far Funnier Than We Are.

Over The Years I Have Met A Lot Of Important People, But No One As Important As Elvis Presley.

Put Yourself In Hamlet's Shoes. Suppose You Were A Prince, And You Came Back From College To Discover That Your Uncle Had Murdered Your Father And Married Your Mother, And You Fell In Love With A Beautiful Girl And Mistakenly Murdered Her Father, And Then She Went Crazy And Drowned Herself. What Would You Do? Go Back For A Masters?

Don't Commit Suicide, Because You Might Change Your Mind Two Weeks Later.

Tax Reform Is Taking The Taxes Off Things That Have Been Taxed In The Past And Putting Taxes On Things That Haven't Been Taxed Before.