I Love Steven Wright.

I'm So Secretive That When Someone Asks Me, Hey, Can You Keep A Secret? I Say That's None Of Your Business.

I Was Watching Mtv And There Were Girls Dancing In Suspended Cages. That Would Be An Ambivalent Situation: "i'm Trapped! ...but Enjoying The Music".

People Only Mention It's A Free Country If They're Doing Something Shitty.

The Clothes Make The Man. The Children Working In Sweatshops Make The Clothes. Therefore, The Children Working In Sweatshops Make The Man.

I Am Sometimes Referred To As Excuse Me In An Annoyed Tone Of Voice, Because Apparently I Am In The Way. I Am So Sorry. I Am Supposed To Be Some Sort Of Mind Reader, I Guess. I Am Moving Out Of The Way Now As Slowly As I Possibly Can. I Am Doing This And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.