I'm A Guy Who Comes From A

Stand-up Comedy In The End, Unlike The Rest Of The Entertainment Industry, Is A Meritocracy. There's A Certain Level Of Undeniability You Can Work Toward.

You Ever Find Yourself Being Lazy For No Reason At All? Like, You Pick Up Your Mail, You Go In Your House, You Realize You Have A Letter For A Neighbor. You Ever Just Look At The Letter And Go "hm. Looks Like They're Never Getting This. It'll Take Too Much Energy To Go Back Outside. I'm Gonna Get That To Them Later On. Right Now I Gotta Watch Some 'love Connection.' They Got Some New Host On There."

I've Stayed In So Many Hotel Rooms That I'm Shocked If, When I Stay In A Hotel Room, The Hotel Phone Isn't On The Desk. Then I'm Like, "this Isn't A Real Hotel Room." If There's Not Outlets Next To The Desk, Or If They Have An Iphone Adapter For An Iphone 4, That's When I'm Sitting There Annoyed. I Understand That It's Ridiculous, But That's Just Me Spending Way Too Much Time In Hotels.

You Never Want To Be The Worst Bowler Of The Group-because Then Everyone Treats You Like You Have Cancer. "you Can Do It! We're Praying For You." The Advice Starts. "use A Heavier Ball." "keep Your Arm Straight." "you Should Get A Vasectomy." If You're Really Bad At Bowling Like Me, They'll Ask If Want The Bumpers Up. Not That Bowling Is That Complex Anyway. "you Want The Bumpers? We Can Get Rid Of The Pins. Why Don't You Take This Coloring Book And Sit In The Corner?"

The Dc Improv Food Is Amazingly Edible For A Comedy Club.