I'm A Pessimist By Nature. I Don't

To Enjoy Being Famous, You Need To Have A Screw Loose.

Thanks A Heap Coyote Ugly. This Cactus-gram Stings Worse Than Your Abandonment.

Above The Stage Was A Glass-floored Second Stage, Which Allowed Customers To Look Up And Watch Another Girl Dancing Overhead. This Multidimensional Display Of Poontang Reminded Me Of The 3-d Chessboard On Star Trek, Which In Turn Reminded Me That I Was A Huge Nerd.

I Know Most People Don't Like To Be Around Teenagers But I Do. I'm One Of The Only People I Can Think Of Who Can't Wait For My Kid To Be A Teenager. I Think Being A Teenager Is One Of The Most Wonderful Things In The World. I Really Enjoyed It - Just This Heightened Emotional State Where Everything Is Beautiful And Everything Is New And You're Convinced That You're Really Going To Break The Mould And Be Different From Your Parents. And The Best Part Is That You Have So Much More Time That You Didn't Have As A Child.

Honestly, This Will Never Happen Because She's So Much Classier Than Me, But I Would Love To Work With Sofia Coppola.