I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And

Donald Trump Is On The Show Tonight. Donald Is A Big Man, I Think 230 Pounds -- 235 With Cologne.

I Heard This Today And I Thought This Was Fascinating And Interesting. President Bush Has Two Daughters, Two Beautiful Daughters, And They May Work On Their Father's Presidential Campaign After They Get Out Of College And I Thought, Well, That's A Pretty Good Move Because In This Economy, They Won't Be Able To Find Real Jobs.

Fall Is My Favorite Season In Los Angeles, Watching The Birds Change Color And Fall From The Trees.

There Was An Embarrassing Moment In The White House Earlier Today. They Were Looking Around While Searching For George Bush's Military Records. They Actually Found Some Old Al Gore Ballots.

Everybody Is Wondering What Paris Hilton Will Be Doing Next, And Hell, I'm Wondering What She Did Before.