I'm An Optimist - I Feel Like

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

Aren't You Scared Your Kid's Getting Kidnapped...right Now?

Once You Become A Comedian, You Accept That People Are Just Going To Yell Stuff At You.

Let's Have A Moment Of Silence For All The Chubby Asian Dudes That Are Getting 'gangnam Style!' Yelled At Them By Bros Around The World.

When I Tour, It's Like, Well, Like A Food Tour As Much As A Comedy Tour. I Try To Eat At All The Weird Places, The Obscure Barbecue Joints, Burger Places. There Are A Few Spots In L.a. That I'm Obsessed With - One Of Them Is The Taco Zone Taco Truck On Alvarado. There Are Secret Off-menu Items That Are Amazing.