I'm Comfortable Being Old... Being Black... Being

Two Thousand Years Ago Jesus Is Crucified, Three Days Later He Walks Out Of A Cave And They Celebrate With Chocolate Bunnies And Marshmallow Peeps And Beautifully Decorated Eggs. I Guess These Were Things Jesus Loved As A Child.

Great News! Hosting Oscars Counts Five Hours Toward My Community Service!

In High School, I Was The Class Comedian As Opposed To The Class Clown. The Difference Is The Class Clown Is The Guy Who Drops His Pants At The Football Game, The Class Comedian Is The Guy Who Talked Him Into It.

I'm A Sucker For A Free Tuxedo.

I Used To Limp Around My Neighborhood Imitating Him. I Did My Bar Mitzvah With An Oklahoma Drawl.