I'm Getting So Old, I Don't Even

The Best Wood In Most Amateurs' Bags Is The Pencil.

He Told Me Just To Keep The Ball Low.

I Have 13 Dependents. All Of Them Have 140 Iq Or Better, Except Me. I'm Under 100 Iq, And I Support Them All.

Putting Isn't Golf, Greens Should Be Treated Almost The Same As Water Hazards: You Land On Them, Then Add Two Strokes To Your Score.

After All These Years, It's Still Embarrassing For Me To Play On The American Golf Tour. Like The Time I Asked My Caddie For A Sand Wedge And He Came Back Ten Minutes Later With A Ham On Rye.