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President Bush Was In Los Angeles Yesterday Where He Announced His New Campaign Theme - “safer, Stronger, And Tested.” Isn't That A Condom Ad?

As We Watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings, All Of The Commentators Said The Same Thing: 'one Of These People In The Room Is Lying.' Do You Believe That? You've Got Two Lawyers And 14 Senators In The Room, And Only One Of Them Is Lying?

Clinton's Pet Labrador, Buddy, Is Getting Neutered. The Dog Will Never Have Sex Again. Overnight, They've Turned Buddy From A Democrat Into A Republican.

Gas Stations Are Considering Hiring Security Guards. Why Are They Getting Security Guards? We're The Ones Getting Robbed.

John Kerry Described His Republican Critics As 'the Most Crooked, Lying Group I've Ever Seen.' Now, That's Saying Something, Because Kerry's Both A Lawyer And A Politician.