I'm Going To Hell, Ah... But You're

My Advice Is: To Try And Stay Really True To The Things That Make You Laugh, As Opposed To Trying To Create A Character That You Think Is Funny. Some Comedians Get Into Bad Habits When They Are Trying To Create Something That Is Not Them, And They Are Trying To Write A Voice That Isn't Their True Voice.

Some Girls Look Beautiful With No Makeup On At All. I Call Them Lazy. Now Go Throw Some War Paint On You Bleak Empty Canvas You.

After You Have Loss In Your Life And After You Experience Something Like Losing Your Parents, The Greatest Gift Of That Was It Prepared Me For [anything]. Nothing Else Is As Scary, And Certainly Stand-up Comedy Is Not As Scary As Sitting There With Your Mom And Having To Have Last Conversations And Things Like That. It's Heavy Stuff, But It's Enlightening Because It Makes Me Think I Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Sharing Ideas And Thoughts With People. It's The Yin And The Yang Of Life.

When You Get Hit By A Car Sometimes Your Shoes Will Fly Off, Sometimes Your Pants Will Come Off, But I Was Not Fortunate Enough To See The Pants Portion.

There Was A Girl I Loved In High School - But Never Spoke To. Cut To My Five-year Reunion: I'm An Entirely Different Person.