I'm Just A Friendly Person; That Runs

Nobody Can Ever Make Enough Money For As Many Poor Relatives As I've Got. Somebody's Got A Sick Kid, Or Somebody Needs An Operation, Somebody Ain't Got This, Somebody Ain't Got That. Or To Give The Kids All A Car When They Graduate.

I've Done Everything Every Fat Person Ever Has. I've Tried Every Diet.

My Best Country Record Only Sold 200,000 Copies. I Didn't Have Enough Money For The Band And The Arrangements And The Costumes And All. I Had To Move Into Wider Fields.

Thanks To Botox And Fillers, As Well As The Work That I've Already Had, My Face Pretty Much Maintains Itself.

My Mama Never Wore A Pair Of Pants When I Was Growing Up, And Now That's All She Wears. It Was So Funny For Me When I First Started Seeing Mama Wear Pants. It Was Like It Wasn't Mama. Now I've Bought Her Many A Pantsuit Because She Just Lives In Them.